Women aye!!

These preety little creatures.
Belong in sacred walls of shopping malls and bedrooms
Child bearing human machines
Emotionally driven and manipulated.

Unreasonable and irrational
Beyond thought provoking arrugment
Hidden at the back of the head
Stocked up and loaded
Ready to fire away at target
Whatever may be the topic
Get prepared to say sorry
Lol the perks of being women
Monthly battles and mood swings
But still she has to work equally
As her health and maternal status is comprehended
But are we failing to observe that modern working women are working more under the name of equality for job that pay more to a guy who does the same job with same education status.
Lol women , lol women
I pity our gender of  birth
21th century fails to notice
What we are and we can be
Don’t you think so dear men of so called society?


© G.V Raghavasree

More than just a son

Let me tell you not just a story but the actual life event of my very dear friend Dennis.

From not just being the school house captain to football player maniac and to a drummer boy in a band.

But no one sees the hidden scars locked to his heart. He was a damaged goods stuck in unchangeable circumstances.

His mother a women of overdose of softness who thought she couldn’t stand on her own feet. Because she had her husband until the day he left her for a younger women with finer bodyand maybe a stable bank account.She learned to claw herself into crawling, standing , take her first step and turn it into a stride with pride as a single working mother of a 5 year old.

She never wore the designer clothes when her eyes burned in the flames of lone wolf as she saved every penny for her son . His mother was dangerous when hurt. When she had the potential to destroy everything but she chose to destroy herself everyday and hid the pain from her son. She became his strongest pillar not only as a mother but a best father he could ever have or hope for.

As a kid he observed women complain that his mother was a unfit wife as she could not keep her man in her clutches ended up losing him for a better women. But when everyone saw her as a weak women but he saw her true potential as a  superhero every day turning the misgony into a inspiration.

He felt his blood boil when men cat called his mother in front of him. How they mocked her and her faith . Never did she answer back but walked away with her head held high. Dennis spent sleepless nights thinking he was a curse to his mother as he knew he will always be reminding her of a wound that never healed.

When he was 16 years old he couldn’t take it no more. He made up his mind to find the love of his mother’s life. First he had to kill his ego before even the thought of convincing her. With  the help of a close family friend he arranged a date for his mother.

He took her out for dinner and introduced her to her new date. She was so against the idea of a new man at 38 years. She protested how she can trust a man again after what she has been through and how she can leave her child. Dennis said if she doesn’t marry than he will run away from home. He said he couldn’t stand her loneliness no more. He saw all his life his mother being independent and he knew that emotionally she has been killing herself everyday in the thoughts of the past. Everyday she puts on the mask of a happy face but he knew she had cried herself to sleep every night for the last 11 years.

He knew that introducing someone new to his mother’s life will cost him more. What choice did he leave to his mother. She was stubborn but it turned out her son was worse than her. He kept pestering her for 4 months. She finally gave in.

The every next day after he got his mother married off he had to keep to his word with his step father that he would leave the house at the age of 16. His tuition fees were paid by his mother but he wanted to be independent so after school every day he used to give tutions inorder to pay his side expenses. Afterwards he used to go to band practice till 10 at night and afterwards coming to room with a empty stomach forced to study with whatever energy left from the day. This was his daily ritual for 2 years. His drilled all his pain into playing drums in his band.

His band won the clash of bands competition. And with the money he paid his own college fees and now he is happily working. His mother is happiest than he has ever seen in his life.

At the age of 16 where one is unsure what he or she wants to be in future but he gave a new life to Mother. Went against the society for his mother’s happiness. It cost him a emotional turmoil but he beared it all and even went against the society for his mother.

Growing up with a single mother is rough on both the mother and the child. In this battle where one refuses to give up nor be a victim to the errors of reality. He was barely able to keep his head above waters at a confused age, adernaline rage, teen peer pressure and studies.

He grew not only as a man but as a human, friend and more importantly a more than just a son who changed his mother

©G.V Raghavasree

21 Century Tragedy

Two empty soles online

But ego won the game

Broken colours

Can paint rainbow together

A bridge separated them

Might have been the distance between there communication

Both there hopes flies over

The tiny mountains of life

Skipping and turing

And straining what they had

Straving the love in between

Barely the love in there eyes escape

But failed to be noticed

Over a text they parted ways

Let’s call it the end

All the invested emotions and time

Down the drain

Yet we call it a pain

Until we can’t live without you texts

Ended with no reply to a blue crossed ticks

And the same circle repeats again

Until lovers become strangers

Who sold there bodies in the name of love

Until next valentine day comes again

© G.V Raghavasree

The Boyfriend Machine

Just imagine a vending machine for assorted flavoured boyfriend of your taste. Choose the characters and get a boyfriend according to your taste and requirements.

Tall,thin, muscular,handsome you name it. Spanish or Italian features. Let your imagination run wild. The type of character and talents you can choose according to your expectations. The language they speak.

Everything under the touch of a button. And how about a scrap boyfriend yard for all the used old out of service boyfriends. Lol when you think about it ladies 😉.

I don’t believe in love stories especially in a generation of fast life. We want fast results without any output. Where everyone is running like robots after career, buisness and opportunities. We replace our smart phones with latest models.

How can I expect someone to be tied up to a person there whole life without the feeling for a change. We are 21th century citizens living our suffusticated life’s under the motto of change and new behind every corner.

So as the Valentine’s week is round the corner. I thought a boyfriend machine was appropriate.😂😁

No pun intended to all the lovers out there. Just a small abrasct of my thought.

Let me know what you thought and what type of boyfriend would you like??….

Fear

Here’s a thing about fear

It’s is always there

Fear of the unknown

Fear of facing it alone

Fear of those closest to you are the monters hiding

Fear as soon as you slay one

There is an another monster waiting to take it’s place

Fear of that one more boogyman at the end of the black hole

Where will she go, what will he do next or what should I say

But fear won for today….

© G V Raghavasree

Maternal Abuse

Paintings on my skin

Studded in freshly oozing blood

The pearls of physical harrasment

Blocks of black and blue collage

But the memories never healed

Finger marks on my throat as you forced yourself on me

Choking me into puddles of tears

Like a beast pounding me on and on

Your pleasure was more important than the state of my body

I begged you with my palms together

Not today please I am on my periods

You did not listen.

I locked the kids room

In order to keep them safe

So they don’t have to see the beast

The eyes of his sons

Should never know

As they only see him as a hero

But every night I have to face the beast within him

Trapped in my pain to a living nightmare

Morning I am rewarded with sorry it won’t happen again coffee

But this cycle is repeating without a full stop

Hide my wounds with lies

If I speak up I will be ruining my son’s childhood

Suffer in silence so that no will know

Scarifies are a part of being a women they say

What are you supposed to say when you are raped every day

What happens behind the doors of marriage is safe and right

My body is not mine but his to use when ever he feels

Even the words rape and abuse??

To this question I don’t know the answer to

If filing for a divorce was a option

The judgement eye of the society

Torments me to dump it all inside me

Without a word heard coming out of my throat

My harsh reality has a hold on me

©G.V Raghavasree


Outcasted Society of Geekology

Life is not a tango nor a salsa

Probably the hardest dance to master

Learning each and every minute step

Even to the last detail

Finding the balance of situations

After every fall and every turn of mistakes

Go with the flow

Learn and on to the next

It’s about the small things

Observe them carefully

Even the most perfect circle

Has to come to same stop where it started

Even the desirable moon

That we envy every night

Has voids and pores when looked upon

In order for the river to flow

It must first cut through through it’s insecurities and doubts

The preetiest flowers are plucked first

And left withered to die

So be a cactus surrounded by thorns and imperfections

A independent baddass in the times of sand

And bloom when everyone least expect it

Until than bear the situations in mind

You are a dessert flower in the process of blooming

Straight trees are cut first they say

As everyone knows the crooked trees are of no use at the end of the day

Embrace your self

We are not meant to trampled on

It’s ok to suffer in silence without a shoulder to cry on

Because everyone is a diamond in the rough but only a few are polished into gems

What matters is that you know your value and willing to prove yourself…

© G. V Raghavasree

Anguish

All the questions we ask this universe

Are within us entangled

Trying to find answers in this unexplored world

Put on our brave faces

Under the masks ,we hide

The lies we show and tamper

Tearing us apart in the burning flames of our agony

For what is it is worth

The tell telling of a guilty heart

At bay is far the hardest to bear

In this unquestionable world

In trapped unthinkable realization

In these unpredictable decisions

Lost in the ripples of the ticking clock

On a heart that never sailed

Desserted in the bed of breaking thorns

Under a sky that never sank

Doubts won the game

Like all those unthinkable realization

Unpredictable decisions

In a unquestionable world

Preparing us for the next unthinkable…

Which may be you if you are up for it


© G. V Raghavasree

Rebel in white coat

Probably today was the day that I was most religiously hard on myself. Congratulations life, I am living proof that I can deal with what ever you throw at my face . Today I sent self sympathy in the eyes of holder a goodbye.

Since two days I could barely get enough sleep. Yesterday has to be a one hell of a roll a coster night. My body begging me for rest. I could not resent myself from my goals.

I had patient coming in today I would have probably bailed for the day in the safe hands on my bed.” But ” is a part of my life. Lol. I felt the insides in my stomach do a merry go round twist. Oh shit diarrhoea out of the back door early in the morning. I felt dizzy and was not in the mood for breakfast. I knew if I don’t eat anything now I would be hooked up in patient work and had to deal with tauts from the other side of the phone.

I drank a glass of milk and had biscuits. Two hours of lecture my mind was running around my stomach song. Still holding it in there. At 10:50 patient came I put on my tough face on. Somehow managed to get to Hostle to collect the required instruments for treatment. I ran to college.

My partner got the equipment ready and ready to rock and roll. She dealt with the patient while I made the required corrections. My state became worse. My stomach paining and I felt dizzy again. I could feel my stomach contract. The acidic smell I could feel it. I am going to vomit.

I ran out of department still wearing my gloves. Ran to the nearest bathroom and pucked my heart out. I washed my face and flushed my mouth with water so that on one will know. The strong bitter taste I had to deal with for the entire day.

Threw my gloves in the bin and ran back to department as if nothing happened. Thank God my teacher didn’t notice I left the patient in between treatment. My partner managed it. I wore new pair of gloves and mouth mask. Did the entire work standing for 2 hours straight without thinking of the stomach pain nor that I am going to collapse any second. Holding it in there.

Successful completed patient work and ended up running to lab to do the required next steps. Gave the patient the next appointment with a Colgate smile. The thankyou that the patient eyes gave made me forget the entire pain and the state of my body.

Back to lab to finish off the pending work and vola the day ended.

It left me tired and sick but made me value my white coat more than ever and my will power grew stronger.


Doctors sacrifice so much for remove the pain from the patient. Just so that healing will take place. We do it at the cost of sleep, starving stomachs, even at the cost of ones health. We are not God’s but we aid in healing. It’s our profession and I respect that with all my heart

P.s – today I found out a day on empty stomach filled with vomiting eating warm bread with honey is heaven.

If you guys know any remedies let me know peeps.

© G V Raghavasree

Diffuse Polarity

You are reason they say

That I dance alone

In the waters of trouble

Solo dancer between the rail tracks

Of negativity in locked words of thorns

Resting on the bed of tounge

Shattered by emotions

But these memories are a curse

In the prints of flashback

This glass of trust has crumbled

In the eyes of misguided self sympathy

The Sunny Skies seem grey

Even laughter seems depressing

The river of death looks welcoming

With a smile I will go to my destiny grave

Caged to my thoughts

A prisoner of this skeleton

I will live happily

Lost to my unknown reasons

Overthinking killed me in the end

© G. V Raghavasree