3. Dusky Brown-Heart break

How can the last words break my heart and be my blessing? It was the day I realised my value. How did I fall for this idiot who made mocked me basically in front of teacher and his mates.Never did the teacher tell him to stop but applauded his actions with laughter. No one noticed the tears under my smile which was hidden as I was crushing on him hard.

As the saying goes love is blind. He was tall, thin, well framed body with the cutest dimple on his cheeks, the way his eyes sparkled when he laughed, his perfect chisled jaw, and his dark naturally shaped eyebrows and the way he had this cheeky grin on the side of his face. He was everyone’s favorite from principle to juniors. He was basically that stupid stud of my school who thought looking down on someone made him cool. But unfortunatly it was a habit when it comes to my case. He daily made fun of my accent, my body language,histurism(hair growing at the sides of my face and small thin mustache). How lucky am I to be diagnosed with polycystic fibrosis. It occurs in one in ten women. It is incurable. Heads up on that ,at least I am medically unique. Lol, my life.Histurism is one of the signs of pcod. Even than, not even a word slipped from my lips.

He took me to the point where I felt I am useless. I guess its me who i should blame.

One day he went beyond his limits. He asked what was my dream job. “To be a doctor” I replied proudly. He gave a sarcastic crow laugh. I asked,” what is wrong with that?”. He drew a small tiny circle on the page and told me to place a nib of the pen on the centre of circle. I did it effortlessly. He said my hands wobbled a little. I tried again yet i failed in vain.

He cracked out laughing with his mate. I said its not funny. “You are a loser, you can never be a doctor,let alone qualify the medical examination”he said heartlessy in front of teacher and his mate as they burst out laughing.I felt humilated for having a dream that was impossible to reach.Tears swelled up in my eyes yet I remained silent. But after going home I silently cried myself to sleep.How did I fall for this idiot?For this question till this day I dont have answer.

I swore that day I will not let him see my tears but work my ass off to prove him wrong. From that day I never spoke a word to him even though he continued to torment me for a while as I gave no interest to him. He knew I was angry with him for his actions. He was a jerk. On the last day of school I made sure everyone wrote a small message to remember them by in my memory book except Prithivi. He noticed this and snatched my book and started scribling. I looked angrly at him. He said nothing and handed me the book and left. He wrote stop being so angry, chill you will be a good doc. These words are his last. These words are periced me. They were not enough for what he said to me. He humilated me every day but he had no bloody right to make fun of my dreams in front of everyone but tell me that i will be a good doc priviately. Seriously no way,not in my watch is he ever going to get away with this.

I felt his words have kicked some sense into my brain to work my blood, sweat socks off. I wanted so badly to prove him wrong for ever dougting me in the first place. I dedicated my next two years to give it my best shot. His words kept on repeating in my head over and over again every day before I went to sleep. This only drove me crazy to work harder than ever for anything I have ever worked for in my life. That year the medical examination was muddled up as I am so lucky. I ended up taking the exam multiple times thanks to neet. The syallbus for the new medical examination was changed in the last minute.

I gave up hope when finally the news came like a rainbow after a long storm that I qualified the exam. I was over the moon. There is always a but in life as my marks were too low for medical but just enough for dental school. Life is a chess board you never know what might me round the corner.

I joined my dental school. After two years one of his friend got in touch in social media and apologised for being a complete jackass for treating me like that.That got me thinking to contact Prithivi.Finally I decided to tell Prithivi how I felt. I litterly stalked him on social media. Finally I got the nerve to message him in insta. I thought he would not reply but he did to my shock. I told him how I felt and he said sorry for his behavior.

The motto behind writing my experience is not to look down on Prithivi William Palaparthy for his actions but for an end to all this emotional energy that was killing me from inside. Its about time I moved on and hope to never see or think of Prithivi chapter again in my life again. I regret my first one sided love but his words have hurt me immenselly but to tell the truth his words have been encouragement batteries to reach where I am today. So I end this by thanking him for kicking some sense into my head to go after my dreams. I hope my life experience will help you guys to go after your dreams and to never let anyone get better of you, dont give up!!!…..

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16 thoughts on “3. Dusky Brown-Heart break

  1. Congrats on being able to forgive this young man (at least to a certain extent), on your test scores and your professional path!! You have a bright future, no doubt. As someone with some experience in this area, I would encourage you to do everything you can do (sugar-intake reduction, exercise and weight maintenance) to manage that PCOD, however. You might not be able to rid it from your body, but you can fight hard against it getting control of your spirit! Blessings!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow such a blessing to wake up and read this message. Truly I am pleased. Thank you soo much for reading my work. Thank you for your advice regarding my condition.Hope you have a great day. Merry ChristmasπŸ’šβœŒπŸ˜Š

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  2. Bless your unflinching soul! I was so happy when i read you reached your goal. Truly amazing. You deserve every piece of your success. I have a friend who is also fighting PCOD. I understand the pain you went through. Its horrible and glad you fought your way out of it.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I was reading this, feeling that I’m in that place. It looks like I was watching a true story movie. everything was pictorial and i can’t even stop from reading it. I’m sorry you passed through all that but it was all for your good. Finally you achieved your dream. and I am so happy about that. and I hope you will be the best in ur med School and your profession when u finish. Thank you so much for writing your experience. I really like what u write.

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