A letter to my conscience


To my beloved,

Uhhh..finally I am happy that I am writing this letter to the most closest and beloved person in the world to me. "hi baby, hope you are fine!" wait!! I know you are not. Yes, I know you aren't fine. You are being with me for two decades . I know you are the most nicest person who stood by me in all possible ups and downs . I should thank you for believing in me when the world was plotting against me.

You may consider this letter as a piece of apology or a sack of regrets and other shits. No it's not. It's cherishing all the experiences bad or good.

You were always loyal to me , but I ?? What did I do???? . I disobeyed you at times, I vulnerably hurt you even without reconsidering that how much pain it would have caused in you . You may wonder that why am I talking about this right now. Yes, the time has arrived ! Let me stop saying "you" and "me" for a start !!! It was always about "us" so, let me use the most appropriate noun "we" !!

We are only few steps ahead a new beginning , a new journey , a new path , a new year... 2020!!!!!! Every new year is special in either or way, but what about this new year? What makes it to exaggerate it too much??? 2020 is not only a new year it is a new decade . We are literally going to get inside a new decade . A "decade " is not as subtle as it sounds . This decade is going to decide most of our lives . Most of us are going to achieve our dreams in this upcoming decade , most of us are going to be successful in this successive decade, most of us are going to get married , most of us are going to be the bridesmaid in our bff's wedding and going to do the most annoying and dumbest shits that one can do in one's life , but there is nothing to wonder even if we remain as a virgin at the end of this decade ! "This decade is definitely gonna play a major role in deciding rest of your life" at last these lines made sense to me and hit my brain to the hardest possible way it can.

The decade 2010s has been harsh like the mother bird preparing the baby bird to fly out of the next and to intrude the reality of this bitter world. I will thank you for teaching me the values, lessons and hardships. It was not all honey and flowers but more of spice and thunderstorms. But I admire your reaching and will be a part of me. Good bye ..

So my dear cute little fluffy soul , it is our time to work on this . I have dumped a lot of shitty things inside you (i.e.) inside me, actually i meant , inside us. Let us cleanse it now before we reach 2020 , let us clear all the dirty and mean things inside our head and heart . Come on yaar!!! We are humans, we belong to this "homo sapiens" kind of species in animal kingdom which is the worst and meanest kind. Though we don't Express , we all have grudges in our mind and hatred in a heart , we might not show them to the world but still we all would have it at least in the darkest corner of our conscience . Let us clean it now , let us be straight , let us go and develop the courage to tell straightly to the face of the person that " I am not ok with you , I am leaving out from your life " have a smile at them and bid adieu to them. No more need to hide your pain and anger inside your heart and smile pathetically only to socialize with them . Let us talk straight to straight , let us clear all the dirty stuff we hold . The cloths we don't wear , the pen which we might not use because it has been run out of ink before couple of years back but we still have it only because we are a lazy fat ass to pick it up and throw it in a trash . Let us clear all the dumps we don't need and we don't use but we keep it with us only because we wonder ; what would people in this planet say .That sack of dump might be a person , a habit or a thing ; just clear it. Clear all the dirty and ugly things you have , even it might be in your phone . Wait!!!!!! Don't judge me I meant my screenshots and photos I withhold in memory of of certain human specimen. I know you all must thought about something else , don't be too quick to judge ; don't worry.

What ever it is ,clear it off, the unwanted painfull memories , the pile of screenshot we have in our gallery to protect us in case of emergency situations . Wash out everything , cleanse it , be clear , have perspective , pursue what you like and not what others say ! . so , this is my resolution ; we are not going to cry for stupid things , we are not going to pay attention to people who doesn't pay attention to us, we are going to respect us , we are going to be genuine with us , we are going to love us.... No matter even this self love grows up to the stage of orgasm!!! LOL!! .

Hence from 2020 we are going to take care of us, we are going to fight for our dreams , we are going to pursue our happiness which makes us happy . I always wonder that if there is any place in the list of gender orientation for those people who loves themself a lot !! . I bet most of us don't know that there are more than 15 gender orientation other than male , female and LGBT category and so coming back to the point . This decade is completely going to be a new beginning and I am going to "prioritise myself first" in the upcoming year. I am going to make sure thrice before doing anything that whether it is going to hurt the inner me or not . so let me conclude my letter with a very happy and a warm "New Year" greeting and once again I am glad to say that I love you (i.e.) I love me. I mean " I love us " 😂 .

To a new start and new beginnings and to new challenges to conquer. Come on 2020. I am ready with my hands together. Namaste 2020..

With lots of love, Xoxo Me.