3. Dusky Brown-Heart break

How can the last words break my heart and be my blessing? It was the day I realised my value. How did I fall for this idiot who made mocked me basically in front of teacher and his mates.Never did the teacher tell him to stop but applauded his actions with laughter. No one noticed the tears under my smile which was hidden as I was crushing on him hard.

As the saying goes love is blind. He was tall, thin, well framed body with the cutest dimple on his cheeks, the way his eyes sparkled when he laughed, his perfect chisled jaw, and his dark naturally shaped eyebrows and the way he had this cheeky grin on the side of his face. He was everyone’s favorite from principle to juniors. He was basically that stupid stud of my school who thought looking down on someone made him cool. But unfortunatly it was a habit when it comes to my case. He daily made fun of my accent, my body language,histurism(hair growing at the sides of my face and small thin mustache). How lucky am I to be diagnosed with polycystic fibrosis. It occurs in one in ten women. It is incurable. Heads up on that ,at least I am medically unique. Lol, my life.Histurism is one of the signs of pcod. Even than, not even a word slipped from my lips.

He took me to the point where I felt I am useless. I guess its me who i should blame.

One day he went beyond his limits. He asked what was my dream job. “To be a doctor” I replied proudly. He gave a sarcastic crow laugh. I asked,” what is wrong with that?”. He drew a small tiny circle on the page and told me to place a nib of the pen on the centre of circle. I did it effortlessly. He said my hands wobbled a little. I tried again yet i failed in vain.

He cracked out laughing with his mate. I said its not funny. “You are a loser, you can never be a doctor,let alone qualify the medical examination”he said heartlessy in front of teacher and his mate as they burst out laughing.I felt humilated for having a dream that was impossible to reach.Tears swelled up in my eyes yet I remained silent. But after going home I silently cried myself to sleep.How did I fall for this idiot?For this question till this day I dont have answer.

I swore that day I will not let him see my tears but work my ass off to prove him wrong. From that day I never spoke a word to him even though he continued to torment me for a while as I gave no interest to him. He knew I was angry with him for his actions. He was a jerk. On the last day of school I made sure everyone wrote a small message to remember them by in my memory book except Prithivi. He noticed this and snatched my book and started scribling. I looked angrly at him. He said nothing and handed me the book and left. He wrote stop being so angry, chill you will be a good doc. These words are his last. These words are periced me. They were not enough for what he said to me. He humilated me every day but he had no bloody right to make fun of my dreams in front of everyone but tell me that i will be a good doc priviately. Seriously no way,not in my watch is he ever going to get away with this.

I felt his words have kicked some sense into my brain to work my blood, sweat socks off. I wanted so badly to prove him wrong for ever dougting me in the first place. I dedicated my next two years to give it my best shot. His words kept on repeating in my head over and over again every day before I went to sleep. This only drove me crazy to work harder than ever for anything I have ever worked for in my life. That year the medical examination was muddled up as I am so lucky. I ended up taking the exam multiple times thanks to neet. The syallbus for the new medical examination was changed in the last minute.

I gave up hope when finally the news came like a rainbow after a long storm that I qualified the exam. I was over the moon. There is always a but in life as my marks were too low for medical but just enough for dental school. Life is a chess board you never know what might me round the corner.

I joined my dental school. After two years one of his friend got in touch in social media and apologised for being a complete jackass for treating me like that.That got me thinking to contact Prithivi.Finally I decided to tell Prithivi how I felt. I litterly stalked him on social media. Finally I got the nerve to message him in insta. I thought he would not reply but he did to my shock. I told him how I felt and he said sorry for his behavior.

The motto behind writing my experience is not to look down on Prithivi William Palaparthy for his actions but for an end to all this emotional energy that was killing me from inside. Its about time I moved on and hope to never see or think of Prithivi chapter again in my life again. I regret my first one sided love but his words have hurt me immenselly but to tell the truth his words have been encouragement batteries to reach where I am today. So I end this by thanking him for kicking some sense into my head to go after my dreams. I hope my life experience will help you guys to go after your dreams and to never let anyone get better of you, dont give up!!!…..

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2. Dusky brown class

Nervously i looked up and saw the entire class looking back at me. The attender told the teacher that i am a new student. Teacher told me to take a seat. My my head hung low as I walked to my seat . The ackward kind look from the strangers looking straight at me as if I am some sort of animal stuck in there trap. Teacher introduced himself as this errie silence flooded the room. He finally told me to introduce myself. “My name is Gopu Veera Raghavasree,I am from William Beamont High School.”I heard someone snniger at the back at the sound of my name. What can I do with a name like this. Its not like as if I named myself. Since i was a kid i got used to people bullying me and looking down on me.I have been a toy to bullies in London. I remember those days like yesterday I would be reminded that being a brown was a crime.

Teacher welcomed me to the school and told me the rules. When the teacher went out. I could feel someone was poking me on the shoulder. I turned to see a wide smiling girl. I never knew than that this girl was going to be my best friend. Vasavi offered me Cadbury shots. From that moment i knew that we would get along well. Why the hell did I move half way across the world to be stuck with strangers who are going to bully me anyway even though it wont be for skin colour.

1.Dusky brown is back

How can I let one boy screw up six years of my life? Not a day passes without thinking about Prithivi William Palaparthy. Sometimes its hard to forget someone who gave us so much. Before going to sleep we think of one person we love or who has given us immense pain.What if the same person gave both?

Where do I begin? My life has turned upside down since I came to India. I was about 13 years old fat chubby Indian girl who came from London.

I was a shy kid. I have these big dark chocolate brown eyes framed in long lashes with a bindi in between over a irregular thick bushy eyebrows. Broad nose and small pink stained lips implanted in a oval face with two plated brades. You get the picture I was not the material to be popular more like to be made fun off. I was always the sore thumb that sticks out no matter how hard i try to be friendly, postive and work my fat ass off. All my life i felt I never belonged anywhere. Always the last kid to be picked in groups. Basically i was a missfet for nothing.

I remember my first day like yesterday. The principle would not let me get admintion into school as my marks were low. But eventually she agreed. I walked into class nervous with my shoulders hung low with my acward back pack. My stupid oversized school dress drowned my confidence level. That bitter horrible taste at back of my throat,as my tiny fat legs poking out from underneath the dress sway to and fro to catch up with the attendant as he shows me my classroom. Finally he stopped in front of a door with a 9th A written on it and told me to go in.

The Future Proposal

Take me to place of two skies,

Where there is no ground,

The place where sun never sets,

On a ship that never sails

Problems stay away from me

Stuck in this bend of life

Where reality never comes

As you listen to my heart beat

All my life I have been a river,

Guided and protected by my parents at every corner of life,

Crossed mountains, bridges, hurdles on my own

Always I thought I was a tributary that will never make it to the end till I met you

For rest of my life will you be my sea of hope,joy,happiness, love, strength and my only headache

As we travel the ocean of opportunities and fulfill the quest of life

Take this ring. Will you be my better half or worse??

Change

Change is the law of the universe. The one thing I learnt the most this year is change. Sometimes it sneaks up on you. Sometimes it hits you over the head . Sometimes you turn around a corner to find you are different in some small way.
The world does not look like it quite used to. So where will i go from here. Still no idea. And for the first time in life its feels like a good thing.

Officially over 100+ follwers

Thankyou soo much for all the love, patience and suggestions.

I never in million years thought I would get this type of appreaction. I was motivated to start writing blog when people started making fun of my work

I so wanted to know where I stand. I guess I underestimated my self.

Every like, comment definitely raised my sprits. Thank you soo much😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊